Yorkshire Man Arrested for Thought Crime After Touching American Freedom Stick on Holiday
Yorkshire Man Arrested for US Gun Photo: UK Police Spark 'Thought Crime' Debate
The Arrest: A LinkedIn Photo Gone Wrong
In a move that has stunned absolutely no one who’s been paying attention for the last decade, a 50-year-old IT contractor has been detained by British police for the heinous crime of… checks notes… holding a shotgun in Florida while wearing a T-shirt that wasn’t actively apologising for existing.
Jon Richelieu-Booth, a self-employed spreadsheet wrangler from God’s Own County, innocently posted a LinkedIn photo of himself grinning like a kid at Christmas while cradling a perfectly legal pump-action shotgun during a summer jolly to the land of the free and the home of the “hold my beer and watch this”.
Within 11 days, Britain’s finest were round his house faster than you can say “malicious communications”.
The 'Thought Crime' Investigation Unfolds
“Mate, I thought the welfare check was because I’d left the gas on,” Mr Richelieu-Booth told our reporter, still visibly shaken. “Turns out posting a photo of yourself holding a gun in a country that literally prints ‘shall not be infringed’ on its breakfast cereal is now considered a public-order offence in West Yorkshire.”
Police sources confirmed that officers attended the property armed with the standard British anti-terror kit: two slightly cross community support officers, a clipboard, and the unshakeable conviction that fun is suspicious.
When offered GPS metadata proving the photo was taken 4,300 miles away from the nearest Greggs, the arresting officer reportedly replied, “Sir, that’s not how feelings work.”
The four-month investigation that followed was described by insiders as “thorough”, involving the seizure of a 2012 Dell laptop, three USB sticks containing nothing more exotic than Excel macros, and a drawer full of perfectly legal Nerf guns that were “just in case”.
A separate stalking charge was also thrown in for good measure after Mr Richelieu-Booth posted a photo of a house he’d never visited. “Honestly,” he sighed, “I think someone just really doesn’t like my LinkedIn content.”
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West Yorkshire Police defended the arrest, stating: “We take all reports of people enjoying themselves very seriously. Especially when firearms and abroad are involved. That’s basically two red flags right there.”
A spokesman for the force added: “The shotgun was clearly visible and could have caused alarm to people who believe the Second Amendment is something you catch from sitting on cold concrete.”
Charges Dropped & Broader Implications
The Crown Prosecution Service eventually dropped all charges, presumably after someone pointed out that Florida is, in fact, not a suburb of Wakefield.
Mr Richelieu-Booth is now considering legal action and has vowed never to post anything more controversial than a picture of a well-behaved cup of tea ever again.
“Next time I go to America,” he said, “I’m sticking to Disney World. Apparently pointing at Mickey Mouse with anything larger than a churro is still considered a bit dodgy over here.”
In a related story, Northumbria Police have opened a dossier on a man who once liked a tweet containing the word “pew”. Officers are understood to be circling his house in an unmarked Vauxhall Corsa as we speak.
Britain: where the Wi-Fi is weak but the thought policing is 5G.