Satire
UK Politics
Environment
UK Government Bans Plastic Straws, Subsidises Plastic Flags for Jubilee
The UK government has taken a bold step for the environment by banning plastic straws, while simultaneously funding the production of 2 million plastic Union Jack flags for the next Jubilee.
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The FY Times Staff
Published on
Read time
1 min read
A Tale of Two Plastics
Environment Agency outlaws single-use straws, then orders 2 million plastic Union Jacks for royal events. Total cost: £4.7 million. DEFRA calls it ‘patriotic polymer.’
The Numbers Don't Lie
Factual nugget: UK produces 1.5 billion straws annually pre-ban; flag contract awarded to Chinese factory. Recycling rate: 9 %.
A Golden Exception
Satirical twist: Ministers sip champagne through commemorative gold straws.