US Congress Bans TikTok, Then Spends $50 m on Government TikTok Accounts
In a masterclass of hypocrisy, the U.S. Congress has banned TikTok for national security reasons while simultaneously funding a $50 million initiative to create official government TikTok accounts.
The FY Times Staff
Published on
Read time
3 min read
The Ban and the Budget
After passing the ‘Protecting Americans from Foreign Dance Apps Act,’ Congress allocated $50 million to create official TikTok accounts for every federal agency. The FBI’s first post: a lip-sync to ‘Bad Boys’ with pixelated faces. The IRS followed with a viral ‘Tax Tips Tuesday’ featuring a dancing auditor in a Grim Reaper costume.
The Numbers Behind the Hypocrisy
Factual nugget: The ban exempts government devices. Federal social media spending hit $1.2 billion in 2024, per GAO. TikTok has 170 million US users; the ban’s enforcement date remains ‘when pigs go viral.’
Going Viral for National Security
Satirical twist: The State Department’s @DiploDancing account garnered 2 million followers in 48 hours after Secretary Blinken attempted the Renegade in front of the UN logo. Critics called it undignified; supporters called it soft power. The Pentagon’s account was suspended for excessive drone footage set to Doja Cat.
Leaked Content Strategy
A whistleblower leaked the content calendar: National Park Service does ASMR rock reviews; NASA live-streams zero-G twerking; the Library of Congress recreates the Macarena with card catalogues. The $50 m budget breaks down to $400,000 per agency for ring lights, $2 million for teen consultants who speak only in emoji.
Political Reaction
Congressional TikTok caucus (yes, it exists) defended the hypocrisy: ‘We must fight fire with fire… and better filters.’ AOC’s account hit 10 million; MTG’s was ratioed into oblivion by verified fact-checkers. The Supreme Court agreed to hear the case, scheduling oral arguments in TikTok Live format.
Meanwhile...
Meanwhile, rural broadband remains a 2016 campaign promise. But at least the Fish and Wildlife Service’s otter account is thriving. Priorities.