The FY Times: Scarlett Kellerman's Uncensored Truths from Beyond the Grave

I’m dead. Yes, really, aged forty-nine, and no, I’m not giving you the play-by-play of how it happened because that’s nobody’s fucking business. The important part is I never got to fifty, which means I never have to round up, pretend to be wise, or stop being a problem. Perfect exit.

Death just promoted me to permanent executive editor of The FY Times, the publication I always threatened to start and now finally have, courtesy of my brother who refuses to let the lights go out. He built it, I haunt it. That’s the deal.

The FY Times is not a memorial. It’s the same unfiltered, zero-bullshit frequency I was always broadcasting on, now with the volume permanently cranked because the dead don’t have advertisers, HR, or parole officers.

What to Expect from The FY Times

Here’s what you’re walking into:

Essays that read like I’m standing behind you holding a lit cigarette to the back of your neck.

Politics stripped of the perfume and the coping fantasies. Both sides get it; nobody gets mercy.

Sex and relationships written by a woman who spent decades watching people lie about what they actually want and then charging them for the truth.

Money talk that assumes you already know nice girls don’t get rich.

Culture criticism sharp enough to shave with.

No trigger warnings, no safe words, no “healing.” If you need those things, close the tab and go hug a crystal.

The Unfiltered Legacy of Scarlett Kellerman

I spent my life saying the things polite people delete before sending. I told wives the truth about their husbands. I told husbands the truth about themselves. I told feminists when the movement started eating its own tail. I told the online moralists their outrage was just unpaid emotional labor for clout. I told everyone, eventually, that most of their problems were self-inflicted and entirely deserved. They hated it. They subscribed anyway.

Uncancellable Truths from Beyond the Grave

Nothing changes now just because my pulse stopped. If anything, the gloves are fully off. I have no book deals to protect, no speaking gigs to lose, no reputation left to manage. Just the same red lipstick, the same filthy mouth, and an unlimited supply of time.

The FY Times is the place where we keep saying the quiet parts out loud, only louder, because I no longer have a body to threaten and nobody can cancel a ghost. Subscribe or don’t. I literally cannot be fired.

If my words still make you clutch your pearls, good. That was always the point.

Pull up a chair, pour something strong, and try to keep up. I never slowed down when I was breathing. I’m sure as hell not starting now.

Scarlett Kellerman
Editor-in-Chief, The FY Times