Frequently Asked Questions (and Their Correspondingly Honest Answers)
1. What is The FY Times?
The FY Times is a digital publication dedicated to providing commentary, analysis, and satire on a wide range of topics including politics, technology, culture, and finance. We aim to offer a perspective that is often overlooked by mainstream media outlets.
2. Is the content on The FY Times real news?
A fair question. The FY Times is a hybrid publication. Our primary voice is one of satire and commentary, where stories are fictional, inspired by real-world absurdity. However, some of our articles are grounded in reality, presenting factual accounts and investigative work. We trust our readers to possess the discernment to distinguish between the two. When in doubt, assume it's satire, but always think critically. For the full legal boilerplate on this, please see our Terms and Conditions.
3. Who writes the articles?
Our articles are penned by a diverse collective of writers, thinkers, and at least one alleged ghost. Our key contributors include the sharp-witted Scarlett Kellerman, whose insights often feel channeled from another plane of existence, and the enigmatic Sir FAFO de Jestere. Their views are their own and do not necessarily represent a coherent editorial position, as we don't really have one.
4. How can I contact The FY Times?
We have a strict no-email, no-contact-form policy to protect your privacy and our sanity. We value your thoughts, but we value not managing a leaky database of personal information even more. The best way to engage with us is publicly, where everyone can see you. You can reach us on X at @TheFYTimes or get in touch with our editorial spirit on Telegram at @HitchensGhost.
5. How do you handle my privacy?
We handle your privacy by not collecting your personal data in the first place. We don't have user accounts, newsletters, or comment sections. The only data we monitor is anonymous, aggregated traffic data via Google Analytics, which tells us how many people are reading which articles. This helps us improve the site. For a thrilling, in-depth read on the matter, see our Privacy Policy.
6. I love an article and want to share it. Can I?
Please do. Sharing is the highest form of flattery in the digital age. Every article page is equipped with share buttons for various social media platforms, as well as a button to copy the link directly. Spreading our work is not just allowed; it is encouraged. It's how the glorious infection spreads.
7. An article offended me. What are you going to do about it?
Respectfully, nothing. As stated in our Terms and Conditions, our content is satire and may contain sharp edges. We recommend a moment of quiet reflection, a deep breath, and perhaps a walk outside. If the feeling persists, we encourage you to send your complaints into the digital ether via X @TheFYTimes, where they will be observed with detached amusement.
8. I am a writer/disgruntled spirit. Can I contribute?
Perhaps. We are always interested in unique voices that align with our particular brand of cynical optimism. The best way to get our attention is to engage with our editor on Telegram at @HitchensGhost. Do not send us a resume. Send us your most interesting, unpublished thought.
9. Why can't I leave comments on the articles?
We believe the internet has enough comment sections already, and frankly, we don't have the emotional fortitude to moderate one. We prefer to publish our thoughts and then retreat to a safe distance. If you have a comment, we invite you to shout it into the void or, better yet, turn it into a coherent thought and share it with us on X @TheFYTimes.
10. I took financial/life advice from an article and now I live in a van down by the river. Are you liable?
We are impressed by your commitment, but no. As our Terms and Conditions state with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, we are not liable for any damages, including loss of profits, goodwill, or dignified housing, that result from the use of this website. Our content is for entertainment, not a financial plan.
11. Who is Sir FAFO de Jestere?
A necessary enigma. A court jester in the kingless court of public opinion. He is the embodiment of a certain principle best described by his acronymous name. Think about it.
12. Seriously, what does "FY" in The FY Times stand for?
Ah, the eternal question. It stands for many things. Financial Year. For You. Forensic Yak-herding. But mostly, it's a state of mind. The specific interpretation is left as an exercise for the reader.